My name is [-]. I am nineteen years old, and I suffer from Tourette's syndrome.I have had Tourette's syndrome almost all of my life. My major symptoms started showing up around the third grade. During the younger grades of school I got into a lot of trouble because of my Tourette's syndrome.
During the third grade when I was eight years old I started having trouble in class with the teacher. She would yell at me because I would either be tapping my pencil, or tapping my foot, or making grunts and squeaking noises. My Mom and Dad took me to a small-town doctor, Dr. V-- C-- who was close to us. He sent me to Plymouth Hospital in Indiana for some tests and then concluded that I "might" have Tourette's syndrome.
During that time in my life I remember that I was scared because I kept making all these weird noises and hurting myself, and I couldn't control it. And I knew my parents were scared too, especially when I started slamming my head up and down and bruising my chest with my chin by jerking.
They were afraid I might damage my neck so they made me wear a neck brace (a soft one). I also remember all the kids thought I was tripping. So I never really had many friends except Tommy. He's like a brother to me. I love him to death. I've known him all my life. He's going to be a police officer sometime, but has no problem with my Tourette's syndrome.
Anyway, along with the neck brace I had to wear a mouthpiece so I wouldn't break my teeth by slamming my head down. I look a lot of shit from the kids. My Dad would talk to the teacher about that, then things would cool down for a little bit, then start right back up again.
When I was nine years old Mom and Dad took me to a neurologist in Fort Wayne, Indiana. His name was Dr. O--. He looked at me for a while then gave Mom and Dad a lot of literature on Tourette's syndrome and said that there was a big possibility I might have it.
In the fifth grade I started taking Tranxene (clorazepate) 7.5 mg to "control" my tics. I turned into a different person. I didn't care about nothing. Then I got on such a dosage that I didn't do anything but sit and sleep. And I always felt angry, but yet embarrassed. In about seventh grade the Tranxene started to not work as well. I started mimicking the teachers, tapping my pencils harder to the point of breaking them, blinking my eyes really bad, rolling my lips, shaking my head, and constantly getting up and down out of the chairs.
Mom and Dad got worried bad so they took me to Dr. H- in Lafayette, Indiana. He diagnosed me with a full-blown case of Tourette's syndrome and put me on clonidine 0.1 mg. I had to build myself into it until I was taking three full pills a day. At that point my life was not mine. I couldn't remember anything. I didn't do anything. I flunked everything in school, got kicked out for sleeping in class. 1 was so sad and full of confusion and hate. It felt like I was in an invisible glass bottle looking out at the world wishing I was there.
Then the clonidine wasn't working so well so I started taking Haldol (haloperidol) 0.5 mg along with the clonidine. I was a zombie by then. I didn't function. People functioned me instead because I didn't know what to do.
I had severe trouble in school to the point where my Mom and Dad hired an attorney just to get the school off my back. I was put under special education. We had about $3,000 in attorney fees. At that point in time I went back to Dr. H-- and he wanted me to take Orap (pimozide), but before I took it I had to have my heart checked, because people with a weak heart can't take that.
I was like no way. It stops here. My parents agreed. I didn't take the Orap then. I just got fed up with all the pills and said..., I ain't taking no more pills. By then I turned into a mean ass. I hated everyone. Then I seemed to fit into a rough crowd. Actually a bunch of kids fed up with society's shit. Anyway a brother named Paul one night noticed my mood and asked if I wanted to get high. I was a little nervous at first but hell why not. I remember that first time I was so mellow and actually got pretty happy. Well. I was twelve or thirteen then and I've smoked pot ever since. But for a different reason now. I used to get high to party. When I was about sixteen I noticed one night I got high and my tics weren't ticking. I didn't know what to think. Could this be it'? I don't know.
Well, I got busted with a bowl by the C- cops.... When I got it I knew I'd have to tell my parents. Mom first, she wouldn't hit me, I knew that much. I told her why 1 smoked pot now and why I had the bowl on me. She was scared a little and wanted proof. I showed her. She then believed me. Now Dad. ... Mom told him to see for himself. I showed him by taking a couple of hits... My tics almost completely ceased. He couldn't believe his eyes. I could still function, laugh, talk complete sentences without squeaking or growling. I had both of their support then.
Since I smoked pot and my parents were cool about it, I could focus on school better. My grades went up. The more pot I smoked, the better I could think, especially since I had no pills in me. Well, four weeks before graduation I moved in with my brother Danny. Their rules were, no pot in the house, and I couldn't be in the house if I was high. So I left it in my VW van. I got high in my van by myself, and when I went to school I left it there.
Well, the morning I just got a three gram bag of dark bud, the S-- W-- police force decided to stick fifteen dogs on my van and I got busted with three grams of weed. So I got kicked out of school two weeks before graduation. Take a guess how I felt. So close but not today. Well, after summer I went to an alternative school and got my diploma in October of 1996..I still live with my Dad and he still helps me get my marihuana even though we can't afford to get it like I need it. We get by, but I can't get a job because of drug tests. I feel it is a blessing from God that he has given us this medicine to heal so many illnesses, especially helping my Tourette's syndrome that the pills never even touched.
I feel like a normal human being. I live a quiet life out in the country. 1 don't go out much except to go camping. I don't cause trouble, and I'm not violent. I don't want to go to prison for something that truly helps my Tourette's syndrome and helps me function. I believe and so does all my family that marihuana is the best medicine I have ever had. None of my family members drink or do drugs or even smoke cigarettes. I love life now, except for the fear of being arrested for something I have to have.